Well, here’s a first – Air in the Paragraph #13 is now available on the Kindle.  For only $1.99, you get the book in its entirety, delivered wirelessly to your Kindle.  And you get it probably about a month before you could get the physical print edition.

A couple of things – first, I know some of you will be all “DUDE WE HATE THE KINDLE BECAUSE WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BECAUSE OUR HIPSTER DOOFUS OVERLORDS MAKE US BE ALL CONTRARIAN ABOUT IT”.  And that’s fine – if you don’t want to shell out to buy a Kindle, don’t.  I’ve had one since Christmas, and even though I am a person with a lot of dead trees around the house, I also enjoy reading on the e-ink screen, and find that the only real problem with the Kindle is it makes it far too easy and convenient to buy books.  It’s like one of those morphine pumps that dump a shot of opiates in your IV tube at the press of a button, and that’s a bit dangerous to me.  If you’re not into buying one, I’m not going to twist your arm or anything.

(You could, if you really want, just download the Kindle software for your PC, iPhone, or Blackberry, then spend the two bucks on the book and read it a month before it comes out on paper.  And that’s cool too, although if you’re not reading an e-ink screen, you’re sort of missing the point.)

And yes, there is some huge price and format war bullshit going down with major publishers and the Kindle.  Some are arguing about hiking up their prices, and some are only putting out their e-book editions months after the hardcover publish date, so they don’t undercut sales or whatever.  But guess what?  I’m not a big publisher.  I am probably shooting myself in the foot, or at least taking a big gamble by releasing the Kindle version first.  I make more money off of the $9.95 print edition, but I also want as many people to read this as possible.  And I realize some of you would rather have the paper edition, and get the cool cover art and the ability to put this on the shelf with your other dead tree books and enjoy it for years to come.  And that’s fine, too.  The choice is yours, so feel free to check out either.

The URL for the Kindle edition: http://www.amazon.com/Air-Paragraph-Line-13-ebook/dp/B0038M2FSM/ If you do check it out, please let me know what you think – I’m curious to hear from others if this is a service I should offer on future books, too.

[Note: this is part 8 of 8 of the complete text for John Sheppard's book Tales of the Peacetime Army. To start reading at the beginning and for a full list of all parts, please go to the table of contents.

And if you like the story, please visit the book's page and consider buying a copy!]

LIFE DURING WARTIME

I was never promoted to sergeant. I was, instead, a spec-four-promotable, a.k.a SP-4-Ever.

Each MOS had a magic number for promotion out of a possible 1,000. You could make 300 points for your PT test. I barely passed mine. You could make 100 points for college. I was maxed out there. The board gave you a certain number of points, too.

Ordnance specialists, at the time, had to have 450 points for promotion to sergeant. So most of them got promoted. Illustrators were stuck at 998.

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Look what showed up at my door today!

It’s the proof of Air in the Paragraph Line #13, hot off the presses.  When you set up a book with Lightning Source, they overnight you a copy and you look to make sure the cover isn’t upside down and backward or that it’s not on the wrong size paper or missing a UPC code or something like that.  Trouble is, UPS’s definition of “overnight” changes meaning over a three-day weekend, so I didn’t get it for a few days.

The good news is, I can do the proof thing in one step now.  Back with Lulu, I had to do a proof of the book with no ISBN number or barcode, then buy a distribution package, have them lay on the barcode, then order a second proof.

The book looks great, and I approved the proof, so now it goes through the series of tubes and ends up on Amazon in a matter of weeks.  If the suspense is killing you, email me and I can sell you copies direct (although I can’t confirm or deny my wholesale price here, due to some business-type legalese.)

It also looks like the Kindle edition may hit Amazon well before the print one, so both of you that actually have a Kindle will be able to get that version for way cheap.  More on that later…

[Note: this is part 7 of 8 of the complete text for John Sheppard's book Tales of the Peacetime Army. To start reading at the beginning and for a full list of all parts, please go to the table of contents.

And if you like the story, please visit the book's page and consider buying a copy!]

THE ETERNAL FLAME

I went bowling. I kept score in my head entirely against my will. The numbers kept adding up and I couldn’t stop them. It’s like being sick all the time, being me. I have to fight to be lazy every second that I’m lazy. It’s exhausting.

“What’s your score?” a girl’s voice asked. I knew the voice.

“Kelsey,” I said, turning around. I wasn’t particularly happy to see her, though she appeared to be delighted to see me.

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[Note: this is part 6 of 8 of the complete text for John Sheppard's book Tales of the Peacetime Army. To start reading at the beginning and for a full list of all parts, please go to the table of contents.

And if you like the story, please visit the book's page and consider buying a copy!]

GOING STATESIDE

I had a rude welcome back to the 191st. I had been in the Army a year, and had accumulated 30 days of leave. I was in use-it-or-lose-it territory, the S-1 sergeant warned me. I decided to go home for two weeks. She also told me that I was going to get a medal.

“For what?” I went. “What’d I do? I didn’t do anything!”

“Quit complaining,” she said. “Some soldiers would welcome getting a medal.”

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[Note: this is part 5 of 8 of the complete text for John Sheppard's book Tales of the Peacetime Army. To start reading at the beginning and for a full list of all parts, please go to the table of contents.

And if you like the story, please visit the book's page and consider buying a copy!]

FAKE WAR

After morning formation, filthy snowflakes whirling around our ankles, Socrates and I were volunteered to participate in REFORGER, a dress rehearsal for World War III. “You, and you,” the first sergeant said, pointing at us. “This is a job for assholes,” he explained. He said that only assholes volunteer for anything and that, this being an all-volunteer Army, we were all, therefore, assholes.

“I applaud your logic, Top,” I said.

“Don’t come crying to me if you don’t get your supplies,” Socrates said.

“What about you?” Gary asked me. “Any empty threats?” Continue Reading »

I’m happy to say that I just finished sending off Air in the Paragraph Line #13 to the printer.  That means I now wait a few days to see a proof, and when I approve it, there’s roughly a 2-8 week delay as it knocks around the series of tubes and finally shows up at Amazon.com and other booksellers.

This issue is 236 pages, like #12, but instead of having a list price of $14.95, this will be available for only $9.95.  It will have the same print type and quality (a 6×9″ perfect-bound paperback with a glossy color cover) and it’s even printed at the same exact place, but because I cut out the middleman, I can sell this one for about a third less.

Here’s a list of what’s in the next issue:

• Life, As It Turned Out, Was Not a Free Ride  by John Sheppard
• Zeigarnik by Ben Mack
• Of Crackheads and Convenience Stores by Rebel Star Hobson
• Banjo Alien Zen by Todd Taylor
• Welcome Aboard Monstrosity, Jack by Hassan Riaz
• Big Tit Cum Suckers by Robert W. Howington
• The Curious Mermaid by Jillian Olenik
• Joe the Salamander by Timothy Gager
• Killing Time on Planet Earth by Aaron Carnes
• The Decline & Fall Of The Roman Empire by Keith Buckley
• Faberge Eggs and Four Wheelers by Daniel Trask
• Burial Ground by Jon Konrath
• Oh You Lucky Man by John Sheppard
• The Tao of Dolton by Nathan Graziano
• I Wish I Knew How to Quit You by Fiona Helmsley
• Ruby, Ruby by Daniel Crocker
• Bad Luck Bunny by Keith Buckley
• Larry Walker Me by Joshua Citrak
• My Friend the Jihadist by Jon Konrath

The cover art this time was by Kurt Eisenlohr, and the cover design was by Marie Mundaca.

Stay tuned for more details on availability!

[Note: this is part 4 of 8 of the complete text for John Sheppard's book Tales of the Peacetime Army. To start reading at the beginning and for a full list of all parts, please go to the table of contents.

And if you like the story, please visit the book's page and consider buying a copy!]

WE HUMP TO PLEASE

My paycheck was massive by Army PFC standards. I stood snapping the paper in my hands following formation, staring down at it. Three months without pay had produced a mini-miracle of instant solvency.

“Guess you can get a decent haircut now,” Gary said. “Instead of that barracks cut you have.”

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[Note: this is part 3 of 8 of the complete text for John Sheppard's book Tales of the Peacetime Army. To start reading at the beginning and for a full list of all parts, please go to the table of contents.

And if you like the story, please visit the book's page and consider buying a copy!]

THREE MONTHS WITHOUT PAY

I called my mother up from a payphone in the barracks after I graduated from AIT. She wasn’t impressed. “Some genius you turned out to be,” she said. “A private in the Army.”

“I have orders to go to West Germany,” I said.

“Germany,” she said. The phone was silent. I thought for a moment that she’d hung up. “Don’t call collect again,” she finally said.

“Fine,” I said.

“Good luck,” she said. “If you run into your father over there, say ‘hi.’”

“Bye, mom,” I said. I hung up.

Dave had orders to something called SHAPE in Belgium. Murphy had orders to something called TRADOC in Fort Monroe, Virginia. Ron had orders to the fifth mechanized infantry division at Fort Polk, Louisiana. Continue Reading »

[Note: this is part 2 of 8 of the complete text for John Sheppard's book Tales of the Peacetime Army. To start reading at the beginning and for a full list of all parts, please go to the table of contents.

And if you like the story, please visit the book's page and consider buying a copy!]

THE U.S. ARMY ART SCHOOL

My orders had me going to Lowry Air Force Base, Colorado, for my advanced individual training (AIT).

Colorado. Purple mountains.

The pass-in-review ceremony involved standing in formation in my class A uniform while a couple of dignitaries spoke. Maybe one of them was the base commandant. I think the dude was a general. He hopped into a jeep and drove around us, for inspection purposes. Then we passed in review, marching past the reviewing stand. Eyes right!

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